Blogging and friendship

Blogging has been my outlet for the last 8 years. I used to blog on xanga which was the old blogger basically and met so many amazing people that agreed with how I felt and never judged me on what I said. I went from being a 15 year who didn't know nothing about the world or myself to a now 23 year old, married, with two kids with many experiences and relationships good and bad under my belt. It's amazing how these short years changed me  to where I grew up like I needed too and how it changed the ones I thought I was close to and confided in and turned into realizing not everyone who you think seems sincere is. I used to gossip a lot about things that I shouldn't gossip about things that were my opinion and everyone does. Now I try to base opinions on facts and how a person treats me in every situation. It's funny how people you though were so much like you and who you thought would always be there would change and befriend the ones they gossiped about not that long ago. It seems like friendship is more a fad and people go along with what seems to be popular and what everyone else is doing. Take for instance parenting. Everyone does it differently. Everyone has different views. Some are right and some are wrong but it doesn't give us the right to judge but it's something everyone has to be right about or first about it. It's seems like everythings a game in life and people just want to win. My take on parenting is quite simple. I try to love, nurture, and comfort my kids. I try my best to do what's best but have made mistakes in the past that I try to change now. I don't push my kids into things I let them lead and I pretty much go with the flow. Why rush a child to reading by the time their 2? Why rush a child to potty train before they are ready? To have bragging rights? Why make a child do sports if they don't want too. No reason at all. Parenting isn't about bragging or who does what first it's about doing whats right for your child at that given time and doing what is best and of course what the law tells you too. I won't put my kids in car seat until they are the right height/weight and whats required by law and don't judge others for being rear faced longer or not using shots. I don't judge people who give shots or use booster seats if they are doing whats required. To me that's all that matters is making the responsible decision for you and what's right. This goes back to blogging. When I started it I talked to other people who had the same things going on in their life. I struggled with an eating disorder for many years that people have threw into my face in a way to hurt me now but it doesn't hurt me it's show their ignorance for something they have not went through.. but anyways. I talked to people who actually understand how I felt and thought and didn't judge me. Then years go on and my life changes. I find out I'm pregnant and realize it's a turning point in my life. I grew up so much when I found out I was pregnant. It wasn't about me but this other human being. I had great mommy friends I blogged with and gave support as I did them and no judgement was made we all got along. Then I had a tramatic experience during the birth of my son with a csection that I felt them cutting my skin every little inch of it until they eventually knocked me out. I was mortified about what just happened I couldn't hold my baby for the longest time from pain and shaking so bad. That experience left me with awful PPD for the first 6 months I had never felt so alone and unexperienced in my life. I told myself I would never get pregnant again because I was terrified of it happening once again. I finally was able to get over that but never opened up about it because once you're a parent you can't have flaws and all of a sudden everyone that I knew that was pregnant and blogged had their child and me admitting anything negative would make them see me badly. If I talked to family or friends they wouldn't understand either because a parent is suppose to be perfect and always happy right? Then I finally decided to have my 2nd and knew it would be differen't. I prayed for a vbac and to not experience the pain of a csection and PPD again. I couldn't do it with two kids and to not confide in anyone about how I felt for a 2nd time. I finally accomplished my goal of having a vbac and it brought me back to life. I realized how grateful I was to have my children. How I was going to try my best and I'm sure I would fail sometimes but I would love them and finally felt alive after going through that experience. I still did things differently then other parent's and anytime I would confide in others on my views I felt shunned or discouraged because it was different. I knew I was keeping my kids safe but I felt like if I didn't do what everyone else did I wasn't in the online "popular" blogging community anymore and then it hit me I don't need people in my life to make me feel like a bad person those are the people that put you down and shove their opinions down your throat they are not opened minded and automatically think your a misfit parent and neglect your child but for me that wasn't the case. I didn't need to change me or my parenting if I did what was right and what was for us. I need to change who I revolve my life around and the friends I let come into my life. The ones who once supported me didn't support me or talk to me anymore because I wasn't like them. The ones who I relied on for advice didn't care about me as a person only how I parented. There are a few friends that didn't change and actually still care about me but I learned real friendship is far and few in between online and in real life and when you find that friendship you need to hang on for dear life because it sometimes only comes around and those are the ones you need most. The ones who pick you up when you are down and help you when you don't feel like a perfect parent because everyone is a good parent no matter how we do it. I finally realized life isn't a game and no one is a winner. The ones who succeed are the ones who are happy with their decisions and are around people who lift them up and love them and from now on I only want and need those people in my life.


Now on to photo challenges-

hands

She gets me everytime with those little hands and being my mini me. Shes obsessed with taking pictures and using her camera. At least I'm rubbing off some good qualities I guess ;-)!
The Trendy Treehouse

trees

Older photo ( like a week old haha) that I love so much :-)!

Photobucket

vibrance

I love how it's full of light and detail and the new action i used I loved so much It's simple but brings it to life.
Photobucket

flowers and leaves

I already used this photo but I will use it again because it's recent.

Another for fun ;-)!


before


after

New action "catch a falling star" made adjustments to it.
Touch Up Tuesday's at the Paper Mama

photographers choice

I'm me big, fat, skinny, thin. Take it or leave it.
Photobucket

sweet shot-around the world-happiness photo


Sweet Shot Day



First time you had stitches?

When I had a csection which mine healed up on it's own and today I got one in my arm for getting my implanon removed.

Jelly or Cream Cheese?

depends both are bad for me especially since I got 10 lbs to lose!
Trivia TWOsday

Better in Bulkand then, she {snapped}The Paper Mama
Wordish Wednesday Live and Love...Out Loudthe long road






{one} if you won a trip to Disneyland/world, who would you take with you?
My Husband and kids for sure and I would love to go :-)!




{two} when was the last time you listened to a CD?
A few months. A burned one of course.




{three} what spice/seasoning is your favorite?
Garlic is a big one. 




{four} if you were in a band, what kind of music would you play?
Probably a mixture I like music with meaning first then the type later.




{five} if you could have personally witnessed one historical event, which one would it be?
Oh gosh I don't know I would of love to witness any I guess. 




{six} if you could go back to school, what would you study?
Photography and sewing more.. 





{seven} if you could go to one sporting event, all expenses paid, which one would you see?
I'm not big on sports but I like cheerleading and such since I was one for 9 years.





{eight} do you drive an automatic or a manual?
Automatic and I like it ;-)





{nine} are you comfortable speaking in front of people?
Depends more on the other person and their body language I can be shy around people who make me feel that way but if they have good body language and are easy to talk to I can be good at talking but I guard my heart before I pour it all out.




{ten} have you ever experienced an earthquake?
I probably have little ones but never felt one!

13 comments:

melissa said...

Hi my love. This is a beautiful post & I am so glad you are able to vent and not keep things bottled up. You have such a strong head on your shoulders & I really admire you. You are a great wife & mama from what I can see through your photos and your words. Nobody should make you feel less than what you are. Nobody should throw anorexia in your face whatsoever. It's disgusting that there are people out there that do this.

I have gone through many many many friends in my life too. And you are absolutely right, they are few & far between and when you find a good one, you NEED to hold onto them. I may not have the biggest group of friends but I have a good, inspiring, caring everything core group that I wouldn't exchange for anything.

It's crazy. We are the same age and look at all of the accomplishments you have in your life! You're a wife & a mama, amazing photographer, many many things. I have, well pretty much none of that (hopefully I'm good at something?? lol) but I look up to you in that respect and although we may not be on the same path in that way...I can relate to you in many other ways. Hopefully one day soon though I will be a great wife and mama just like you are! =)

Remember: "Nobody can make you feel inferior without your consent."

Your photos are always so beautiful & you have a true gift & talent that God blessed you with and you use them so beautifully. I always look forward to looking at your photos!

Lots of love to you friend!
xoxo

Anne U said...

Great post, thanks for sharing something so personal. Love the toy camera, I should get one for my girl.

Life with Kaishon said...

I think you are so dead on. When people brag about their kid speaking spanish and knowing sign language and being potty trained before age 2 or whatever...i think they have some issues. Who cares when your child does what they do : ) As long as they are happy and loved, what does it matter?

Her little hands are beautiful indeed.
Thank you so much for joining up to Communal Global. We always love having you. Your pictures are gorgeous!

Sarah Halstead said...

Wonderful post. Thanks for linking up for Trivia Tuesdays. Great answers. :)

Marvelous Mommy said...

How long did you have your implanon?? Did you like it?? I've looked into getting one...

alicia said...

Well said! It is certainly a difficult thing to realize when a friend is no longer good for you. But you are a better person and mother for it.

Love the flowers. And that pic of you is stunning, as always!

alicia

Cedar said...

Oh! You are brave to have another baby after that C-section experience! I am so glad for you that your VBAC was successful. Good friends are definitely worth fighting for and the bloggy world is a wonderful way to expand those options.

I love your photos and those last two are definitely sweet shots! What a cutie pie!

Kristi {at} Live and Love...Out Loud said...

It's so important to surround yourself with supportive people you love who will lift you up instead of knock you down. I'm sorry that you had to go through all of that. As for the photos? Stunning!

Shannon said...

Your photos are to die for! O my gosh, you are so dang good!

Also I have been through some pretty crappy friend/relationships myself! It's sad the people you think are your friends and you find out other wise! But, I have learned that those kind of people that befriend you aren't worth it! Your best without those kind! Hope you have a wonderful day!

Kayce said...

Fabulous post! Keep doing what you're doing and love the ones who love you. Your girl is just adorable and as precious as anything!

Jill Samter Photography said...

First, HUGS!!!!!

Second, so proud of you for posting this. Trust me when I say there are many out there that feel the same way - are judging themselves, judging others and the worst being judged.

Oh how I long to see mom's set free from this and to come alongside of each other. To truly lift each other up.

As a mom of 9 - I can tell you this is ONE of the LONLIEST roads I have ever walked in my life. Thank GOD He is there. Or I would cry more and laugh a lot less. The more we adopted the more I saw people walk out of our lives for saying YEs to God. The more we changed how we lived to align with Him - the more people walked out of our lives. The more we said no to the world - the more I was judged for living in a way that felt so right to us and will hopefully bring these words once I meet my maker - GOOD JOB, WELL DONE, MY FAITHFUL SERVANT.

What I have sadly found out through blogging Tiffany is that anyone can sound all perfect on a blog. Anyone can pretend to have it all together. But it takes courage and a love for God more than themselves to put LIFE in all its messiness out there.

BRAVO for putting yours out there so that I can love you just a little bit more than I did yesterday! Why because you are a wonderful mom and so incredibly loved by GOD! Which means I can't help but love you too!

Hugs!
Jill

Chic Homeschool Mama said...

Tiffany- well said. It's so easy for some to pass judgement on others until they actually have the experiences. Then they will have an idea of where we are coming from. It goes to show that until you are in the same circumstance as someone else- it's best to not assume anything. It sure would be easier to be moms is we could all get past the competition & judging & just support each other for doing what works for our individual families- wouldn't it?! Sad that there are so many out there that are not genuine & never move past the high school mentality. What a drain on the rest of us. Life is too short- I choose to focus on enjoying the few wonderful years I get with my kids & try to not worry about what others think, as hard as that can be at times.

Ray said...

Beautiful tree photo!
Thanks for linking up!